


It's lit, boys

by hinatella



Series: yuuri!!! on fire (the superhero au) [5]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Bad Flirting, Humor, M/M, Prequel, Rivalry, Swearing, Villains, victor is confusing and gay and yuuri is just confused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-15
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-14 13:58:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11209494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hinatella/pseuds/hinatella
Summary: On his way to being theSuperheroes United as Champions of the Countryorganization’s top hero, Yuuri faces his biggest challenge yet: the world’s most annoying villain. He doesn’t get paid enough for this, honestly.





	It's lit, boys

**Author's Note:**

> this is a part of a series, but takes place 2 years prior and it stands alone, so you don't need to have read the others parts to understand this oneshot. (but you totally should read them afterwards.)

Yuuri wakes up at the ass crack of dawn to two emails. The first one comes from the Costume Department and reads:

Morning, Cinderos!

Your costume has been repaired and will be ready for pick up when you come in. We’ve also taken note of your qualms concerning your “overheating” problem, and have thus taken the liberty to make alterations to your outfit. We hope you find them ex-heat-ingly comfortable. ;)

Sin _sear_ ly,

SUCC’s Costuming and Textile Engineering Team

Good. That’s good. Ugh, the costuming department is never short of awful puns. Laughing at them was solely out of courtesy at first, but now it takes all of Yuuri’s will power not to cringe when they’re aimed directly at him.

The second email is from Mr. Feltsman. Those are a little on the rare side, but certainly not unheard of. Yuuri thinks that Yakov might tell him to come into work early, or perhaps there’s a new development that he needs to know about, or he’s letting Yuuri off of work today due to some unforeseen circumstance, which is a stretch; heroes don’t exactly get time off. What he gets instead, is this:

Good Morning Everyone,

I am afraid

_Sent: 20 minutes ago_

✂

Needless to say, Yuuri is exceedly cautious when coming into work that morning, because he’s not sure what to make of Mr. Feltsman’s email. He debates going to Mr. Feltsman’s office to ask as Yuuri goes to pick up his mended costume (when they mentioned alterations, Yuuri hadn’t expected _this_. It was near unrecognizable, save for the soft, black material of the elbow-length gloves. But the slits of mesh in the legs and the gratuitous cleavage window is definitely new, what the _hell.)_ He stops by the Information Sector to ask if Minako knows something, and she shakes her head no with a look of confusion.

On his way to Yakov’s office, Yuuri runs into Phichit and Christophe. If his friends are also up here he can only assume that they’re up here for the same reasons, because no one just visits Mr. Feltsman without a good reason.

“Are you guys…?”

“Yeah,” Phichit cuts in and answers immediately.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Yuuri asks.

“It’s Mr. Feltsman. What’s the worst thing that could’ve possibly happened?” Chris says.

 _I could think of about five possibilities right now_ , Yuuri thinks, and Phichit shoots him a knowing glance, eyebrows raised. Yuuri says nothing out loud.

“Stop worrying so much, Yuuri. Chris is right, it _is_ Mr. Feltsman, and he’s more than capable of holding his own,” Phichit says as he walks up to the frosted glass doors. “We’ll just ask him if it was a mista—ah.” He freezes, right hand in the air, midway to knocking.

Yuuri furrows his eyebrows, but then the doors open from the inside, and out comes Yakov Feltsman with a worn-out demeanor. He looks pensive and troubled and like he hasn’t gotten a proper good night’s sleep in five days, before resting his eyes on the three heroes on the other side of the entryway. “Why are you all standing here?”

“You sent a very worrying email this morning, sir,” Phichit says.

Chris asks, “Is everyone alright?” while Mr. Feltsman looks at his emails in abject perplexment.

“I must have sent this early by accident…” he mumbles to himself before pocketing his phone. Then he looks up and announces, “I’d like you all to meet me in the holographic projection room in ten minutes.”

Oh, if they’re meeting _there_ , then whatever matter that seems to be plaguing his mind must be really serious.

“The HORE room?” Phichit supplies helpfully.

Mr. Feltsman sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. He looks pained as he says, “Yes, the HORE room.” He walks down the hall and out of sight without another word.

“Hm,” Yuuri hums. “He didn’t look mad at that like he usually is. I wonder what it is he’s bothered by.”

“Nothing we can’t handle!” Phichit exclaims with all the confidence in the world, grabbing him and Chris and leading them down to the second floor.

 

The Hi-tech Operating Rectangular Encryption room, affectionately known as the HORE room, is something Mr. Feltsman hates saying with a passion, but something Phichit and Chris take endless joy in repeating over and over until it becomes a jaded joke. The room itself is like something out of the comics Yuuri used to pour over, consisting of eight T.V. screens that fill one wall and showcase eight different news channels at once, and a big, round table in the center with an overhead projection system above it.

Yuuri, Phichit, and Chris are sitting on one end, twisting and turning in the rolling chairs and discussing the possible subject of the briefing they’re about to endure. And Phichit is bringing back an age old topic.

“Come _on_ , Yuuri. It’s literally the perfect catchphrase for you.”

“Phichit, stop it. I’m not saying ‘it’s lit, boys’ during a mission. That’s stupid.”

“It fits! Cause,” Phichit gestures wildly, “fire! Chris, back me up.”

“I agree with Phichit.”

Yuuri frowns. “No offense, Chris, but I’m not taking brand suggestions from the hero named _Hard-on_.”

The conversation comes to a halt when Mr. Feltsman walks in with Minako in tow.

“I will cut to the chase,” he starts before sitting down. Minako activates the hologram projection mechanism with her handprint and types something out on the translucent keyboard that appears in front of her, then takes the seat beside him. “There’s been—”

“—a string of organized crimes committed by two or more villains lately?”

“Yes— _Phichit_ , let me finish,” Yakov grumbles.

“Sorry, sir.”

“Like Mr. Chulanont said, we’ve been tracking the recent rise in crimes of the past week. Normally these would not be cause for alarm, but Ms. Okukawa and I have noticed something odd about these.” He nods for Minako to speak.

“Right. If you’ll place your attentions here,” she says, pulling up a 3-D projection of the town. Four x’s appear in different locations across the cityscape. “As you all know, it’s quite infrequent for villains to organize crimes like this. They’re hitting up different places that sell expensive hi-tech products like Holo Fields,” the map zooms in on one location, “nanobots,” and another, “and Hive Helmets. Though, those things are hardly as great as advertised, so I don’t see why they would bother,” Minako mumbles that last sentence to herself.

“Okay, so a couple of villains are stealing a bunch of expensive things for some sort of plan. It’s nothing we can’t stop, right? Our organization is the best, after all,” Chris says.

“While I do have the utmost belief in that, Christophe, there’s another factor we must consider,” Minako says.

Mr. Feltsman sighs then, long suffering and full of _something_ Yuuri can’t name. “We might be facing a new villain.”

“Ah,” Yuuri says. “Is that what has you so afraid, Mr. Feltsman?”

“I am not afraid,” Mr. Feltsman insists. “That’s preposterous. The only thing I have to fear is having this organization thrown from my hands, and that will never happen.”

“Is _that_ what they’re doing?” Yuuri asks, a little alarmed.

“No. We don’t know, but I highly doubt that is the case. Moving back to the topic at hand.” Mr. Feltsman taps the holographic keyboard and pulls up images taken from the robbery scenes. They look to be ripped from news station footage, so they’re not very clear. A lot of the shots show that the places in question are torn apart from the inside, with roofs containing puncture holes and debris lying on street sides, and puddles of water from busted pipes. It’s like a hail-filled tornado ravaged them all.

“Holy shit,” Yuuri whispers.

“What caused this?” Phichit asks.

“The new villain. We have no concrete information on him yet, apart from blurred images of the assailants escaping the scene,” Yakov zooms in on an image of a Hive Tech facility, and points to one corner. There’s definitely people there, but Yuuri is having a hard time separating them from mere blobs. “What we do know, is that the villain wears white colors, is currently working with Royal Mind Fuck, and,” he pauses. Dramatic effect? “...has ice manipulation powers.”

“Ice did all of that?” Chris whistles. “Whoever is behind this must be crazy powerful.”

Yuuri nods in agreement. It’s a little terrifying.

“As it stands, we are focusing our efforts into stopping these crimes, and our first priority is to detain this villain as quickly as possible,” Mr. Feltsman explains. “And Yuuri, because your power negates his…”

Yuuri’s insides seize with the nerves that suddenly flare.

“We are putting you in charge of his capture.”

“But...my fire. I’ve never combated something of this scale before. What if it gets out of control again and destroys everything, I—”

“Yuuri,” Phichit says, placing a gentle hand to his shoulder. “It’ll be okay. I’ll join you on them if I’m not tied to anything else.”

The words of comfort help a little, but that doesn’t stop Yuuri from chewing at his lips until they’re a raw, angry red.

Mr Feltsman stands then, rounds the table, and places a hand on Yuuri’s other shoulder like he’s placing a burden there that he thinks Yuuri can carry. “You’re on your way to becoming this organization’s top hero, Yuuri. I have absolute faith in you.”

Chris and Minako offer a thumbs-up, and Yuuri sighs his concession.

✂

“Do you think they’ll really show up here?” Yuuri asks Phichit as they stake out the street upon which lies a hoverbike manufacturing facility. They’re sitting in a nondescript car after dark in full costume, and Yuuri is trying to distract himself from the fact that there’s now mesh slits in the material. Sure, it’ll probably help with his “overheating” problem, but it’ll take at least twenty years to get used to the way wind brushes uncomfortably against his skin. Phichit assures him about a million times that he looks great.

“Minako says they've been targeting specific locations in some specific order, and it’s always been every other night. So yeah, this should be right.”

Yuuri nods, and he goes right back to worrying at his bottom lip like chewing on it will stop his mind from racing, and he rubs the mesh on his legs at the same time. He has faith in Minako, of course he does; she’s one of the most shrewd people he knows. He isn’t particularly worried about _if_ they’ll be here, but what happens _when_ they get here. A repeat of that awful Wildfire Incident is something he doesn’t need.

“Cinderos,” Phichit sighs, pulling Yuuri from his fast-sinking thoughts. “You know I can always hear what you’re thinking when you’re about two seconds away from worrying yourself into an attack. It’s okay, you won’t hurt anyone because this facility is entirely automated and all of the workers went home.”

He feels scandalized because he always forgets until it’s too late. _Always_. Yuuri turns his head to stare out the window so he doesn’t have to stare at Phichit’s prying eyes as he thinks, _but you’re there._

“I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself, you know that,” he reassures him.

Yuuri says nothing, so Phichit says nothing in turn, and Yuuri would be grateful at the fact that he dropped the subject if he didn’t already know that Phichit was making a valiant effort to try and pierce his mind guards while they’re weak. He sinks low in his seat like that’ll help stop him, like the upholstery will shield him.

“Isn’t it a little too late to be worrying about your costume?”

Yuuri can feel his ass burning a hole in his seat when he think-yells, _Phichit!_

“Cinderos, it’s fine. Both sides will be too busy trying not to get their asses kicked to be worried about what your costume looks like, which, by the way, is,” he pauses to lick his finger and make a hissing sound at the air, “ _sssmoking_.”

Yuuri gives him a _look_.

“Sorry!” Phichit laughs, “But I’m serious! If we’re lucky the new villain will be super gay and get distracted by how great you look and it’ll be an easy capture.”

With a snort, Yuuri rolls his eyes, but he smiles anyway because Phichit is great at making him feel better. “I doubt it.”

“Twenty bucks says he will?”

“I’m not betting with you, Neuroseeker.”

“Ten bucks.”

Yuuri is about to decline again when something shifts in the corner of his eye, and when he turns to find out what, his hand instinctively clutches Phichit’s arm with a gasp. “The power was turned off. They’re here.”

“Let’s move.”

 

It’s eerily quiet when they slip into the building; the security system was deactivated along with the power, and the back-up generators haven’t kicked in yet, if they’re going to kick in at all. The only sound is the rhythmic clacking of Phichit’s heeled boots, and up ahead, rushing water.

Yuuri doesn’t dare speak and risk giving away their positions. He turns to his partner. _We’ll have the element of surprise on our side, so let’s make this quick._

Phichit nods.

Minako told them that the warehouse of completed hoverbikes was located towards the back of the building, so they head there. The plan is simple: Neuroseeker will subdue Royal Mind Fuck as quickly as possible, then aid Yuuri in taking down New Mystery Villain. Easy.

But things are never quite easy.

The first thing that goes wrong is that they come straight towards _them_ , on high flying hoverbikes that hardly fit the width of the hall. Yuuri takes Phichit’s arms and hauls them both to the ground to avoid getting struck in the head.

“Oh, you’re not getting away,” Phichit spits, and with a flick of his hand, a metal door is ripped from its hinged and crashes straight into the bikes, sending its drivers diving to the floor.

Royal Mind Fuck hardly has time to get up again when Phichit uses his telekinesis to wrap the detached door frame around his body.

“Let me go, fucker!” Royal MF says, blue eyes turning purple to match the gaudy shade of his costume.

“No chance, Royal Minefield,” Phichit teases.

The body next to Royal MF is nearly forgotten until it shifts, and a head of silver hair and a frame of white fabric comes into view, sitting up and clutching at his temple.

Yuuri chooses a bad time to remember the ice cold destruction this person caused in those pictures. He tells himself to _breathe, breathe, I’ve done this a million times before_ , and stands directly in front of him with all of the confidence he has.

“You’re under arrest, Ice Man.”

“Ah?” The man in white laughs, and he raises his head, and Yuuri feels a sudden uncomfortable chill down his spine when he peers down at the white mask and icy, blue eyes. “Is that what they’re calling me? I’m a little disappointed.”

Without answering, Yuuri steps over his body and pulls out a pair of handcuffs from his belt (a feature he’s actually grateful for).

“You’re Cinderos, yeah? You look a bit different from the pictures and videos I’ve seen of you. Did you get a new hair cut?”

Yuuri raises his eyebrows at Phichit, then at what’s-his-face. “No?”

“Is it the slim waist? Have you been working out?”

“Um…”

“Oh! How silly of me. Of course. It’s your eyes, I’ve never seen them up close till now,” he says, standing with his hands restrained behind his back to take a closer look. Yuuri notes with annoyance that he’s a few centimeters taller than him. “I can see flecks of red in them. They’re amazing.”

“What?” Yuuri breathes.

“Geez, my guy, consider keeping it in your pants,” Phichit says. He looks just as confused as Yuuri does right now.

Yuuri isn’t sure what he was expecting. But it certainly wasn’t... this.

“Oh, you must be Neuroseeker.”

“And your name?” Yuuri asks, as he forcefully takes hold of the man’s cuffed hands again, while Phichit raises a disgruntled Royal MF to his feet.

“I’ll tell you as soon as I’m out of these restraints,” Ice Man says.

“Nice try, but we aren’t letting you go,” Yuuri says.

“Oh, no. Of course not. What kind of hero would you be otherwise?” He turns to face Yuuri, leans down so their faces are mere inches apart, and smirks like he’s already won. “I mean I’m escaping.”

“ _What_ —”

The rush of water heads their way, a sudden avalanche that sweeps them off their feet, and in the single breath it takes Yuuri to keep from drowning, he watches that Ice Fucker turn all of the water to ice. Jagged, biting ice that rips through the ceiling and circles his and Phichit’s feet, keeping them cemented in place.

“This has been fun,” Ice Fucker sneers, freezing his cuffs and breaking them away like they’re made of fragile porcelain. “But we really have to go now.” He conjures a crowbar-shaped stick of ice and pries Royal MF from his restraints, too.

Yuuri is _seething_ , and the heatedness of it starts melting the icy chains binding his feet to the ground.

“You’re quite cute when you’re mad,” Ice Fuker laughs, hopping onto one hoverbike.

“Fuck you, you’re not getting away,” Yuuri challenges. The ice melts faster. _But not fast enough_.

“No sooner than you’re getting out of there.” The engine revs to life, and Ice Fucker turns to wink at them. “My name is Flash Freeze, by the way. See? I told you, just like I said I would! Oh, and I love what you’ve done with your costume,” Flash Freeze says with a salacious lick of his lips. “Bye, now!”

“Seeya, suckers!” Royal MF calls after him.

They’re out of the building and out of the sight by the time Yuuri manages to melt all the ice. He punches an angry dent straight into the nearest wall with a huff, then places his head on top of it with a whimper leaving his lips, because he doesn’t know whether to focus on the fact that he wants to gag, or feel flustered, or be mad at the fact that they got away and it was _his fault_.

“It’s okay, Cinderos,” Phichit says. “We’ll get them next time for sure.”

Yuuri closes his eyes and breathes, then nods his head. “Right. You’re right. We can’t let them continue committing crimes like they are.”

“On the bright side,” Phichit says, grinning—even though there’s nothing to grin about, so _why_ — “He was totally gay for you and totally loved your costume, so you owe me ten dollars.”

“Neuroseeker, _no_!”

✂

The next time he meets Flash Freeze, he’s not expecting to. It’s a sudden mission alert that pops up in the SUCC Information Bank’s robotic voice. _Attention, break-in in progress. Attention, break-in in progress. Attention—_

Phichit had already gone off on a mission on his own, so that left Yuuri to stop the crime himself. But he would be fine, he’s stopped plenty on his own before.

That’s what he told himself anyway, but that was before he found himself unexpectedly facing off against Flash Freeze. This is a clear trap, it has to be, because this is only the next day, and they’re both partnerless, and he’s currently standing in the middle of an automated water plant.

Yuuri hears Phichit’s voice in his head, and his words from the previous night. _Don’t let him get near water, it’s probably where he draws his power._ He’s very clearly fucked.

“Hello, beautiful,” Flash Freeze greets him, an easy smirk on his face, like it’s the only expression he’s capable off, and it kind of pisses Yuuri off.

“Is that how you speak to every hero you meet?” Yuuri asks with a bite to his tone. He faces his palms out and ignites them; the small flames burn like a comforting heat against his hands. He can do this.

“Maybe,” Flash Freeze says, conjuring a sharp spear of ice from the water that’s practically surrounding them in liters, gallons, _tons_. “Maybe not.”

Yuuri walks backwards as Flash Freeze walks forward with his spear clutched tight in both hands, and Yuuri’s eyes dart everywhere to try and gauge what his next move will be, if he’ll be the first to make one.

“It’s almost a shame that I have to do this when I’ve hardly gotten to know you.” Flash Freeze turns the spear on him, centimeters from his nose, and Yuuri holds his breath.

He exhales, and the ice melts, slips between Flash Freeze’s gloved fingers and onto the ground.

Flash Freeze blinks. “Ah.”

“You were saying?” Yuuri says, fiery hands raised, along with an eyebrow. He can _do_ this.

“No one said anything about your breath being as heated as the fire that burns in my chest when I look at you,” he says without blinking like it’s the most natural thing in the world to say. And it must be to him, Yuuri realizes. That’s how he must get to people. Distract them with sweet words, all-consuming and heat-inducing, until they’re tied up with no way to escape.

Lucky for Yuuri, the flustered feeling only burns his flames brighter. He just wishes it didn’t take that lame, lame sentence for it to happen.

“Stop that,” Yuuri hisses, and he shoots forward, lightning fast, throws fire-filled fists at Flash Freeze in quick succession so he can do nothing else besides toss up shoddy ice shields that melt away in a splash on the ground.

The roles are reversed; Yuuri is pushing Flash Freeze backwards now and Yuuri doesn’t dare give him a chance to breathe. He can wear him down, push and push and push until they’re a safe distance away from the water, and subdue him the first chance he gets.

But Flash Freeze is suddenly backed into a corner.

No, not a corner.

An entire tub of water, waist high, several meters long, and filled with Yuuri’s untimely demise.

Yuuri quickly backs away just as Flash Freeze creates a thick wall of ice between them, and Yuuri surrounds himself with his fire to keep from being engulfed in the glacier-thick block of death. There’s an odd ice-hot sensation, and steam, and when the fog clears, he’s surrounded in ice.

“Oh, no.”

“You’re a lot stronger than I thought,” Flash Freeze whistles. “I underestimated you.”

Yuuri watches Flash Freeze’s foggy, fragmented silhouette circle the ice on the other side. “I could say the same thing,” Yuuri mumbles. He focuses his energy on igniting his flame again, but his hands are wet and it fizzles out the first few tries.

“Really?” Flash Freeze says, and he sounds… _excited_ … by that? “You know, I was sent here to eliminate you. Royal Mind Fuck is busy taking up Neuroseeker’s time so you, and only you, would be here.”

Yuuri pauses in his frantic attempt at drying his hands to look at Flash Freeze’s figure through the ice wall. “Why the heck are you telling me that?”

“Because this clearly won’t go my way. And it absolutely won’t go yours. So why don’t we call a truce? I won’t destroy you while you’re trapped in there without your fire, and you let me go.”

Yuuri gasps despite himself; so he knows. He rubs his hands together faster. Sparks start flying. _C’mon, c’mon, c’mon…._

“Why in the world would I do that?” Yuuri asks, breathless, stalling for time. “That wouldn’t make me a very good hero.”

“You’re right,” Flash Freeze says, a laugh laced in his voice. “I was trained to be a mean, ice-cold killing machine, but I don’t think I can hurt you. I’d rather take you out for dinner, Cinderos.”

“Excuse me?” Yuuri squeaks. His fire is finally burning again, but it’ll be hard to get through all of this ice without suffocating first.

“You are far too gorgeous, and I’d love to see the way your eyes reflect the light of a candle.”

“Oh, my _god_ , please stop,” Yuuri moans in anguish. He can’t handle this. How does anyone handle this?

“Won’t you entertain me for one night, Cinderella?”

Yuuri accidentally burns too bright; there’s a rush of water at his feet and a blanket of steam covering his too-hot face as he splutters and coughs in embarrassment. “D-Did you just—”

“Did I just what?” Flash Freeze says with a foggy tilt of his head.

Yuuri must have misheard. The stream is thick in here, and the ice is muffling his voice a little, and there’s no way a villain would call him that, that’s _ridiculous_.

With a huff, Yuuri blasts through the rest of the thin ice, blinks away the tears that catch on the corners of his eyes, and looks up to see that Flash Freeze is on a platform of pure ice, tall and daunting, blue eyes glistening, like he’s staring straight through Yuuri’s soul. Yuuri has no restraints, but he’s rooted to the ground.

“I suppose that’s just wishful thinking,” Flash Freeze says. The lines of his face are hard, terrifying, and Yuuri can easily imagine that this is the person who fearlessly and merciless caused those buildings to crumble, rumble around his feet. This is the man Yuuri is up against.

This is his archenemy.

“I’ll take you down, Flash Freeze,” Yuuri says with full conviction. He may be small here on the ground with Flash Freeze’s vantage point, and he may look like a comical thing with his half-assed confidence that’s barely scraping by, but more than that, more than anything, he hates to lose.

He _won’t_ lose.

Flash Freeze smiles, breaking the icy-hard lines like cracks along his face. “Until next time, Cinderella.”

He creates a towering bridge of water behind his feet and rides it into the sky, far away where Yuuri can’t reach.

He leaves, and Yuuri stands there, bewildered beyond belief.

✂

“Phichit, I swear he called me Cinderella,” Yuuri reports back that same day, frazzled and sweating and still very, very wet as he sits on the couch in the middle of the organization's lounge.

“What?” Phichit says, eyebrows raised. “Are you sure you didn’t mishear?”

“I thought so too, but he said it again, and I definitely heard it the second time.”

“Well, he does seemingly have a thing for you,” Phichit points out.

“No way,” Yuuri huffs. “There’s no doubt in my mind that he’s doing that to get under my skin. It’s like his way of distracting me so he can get away or something, and no way in hell am I ever letting him do that.” He crosses his arms and tries so, _so_ hard not to blush. He’d rather crawl under a rock and die than admit that some dumb villain made him _blush_. “I’ll kick his ass one day and make him take back every stupid thing he’s said to me.”

“Wow, Yuuri. I’ve seen you determined before, but never this heated.” At Yuuri’s pointed glare, Phichit raises up his hands in a pacifying gesture. “Sorry, pun unintended. But really. What did he even say to you?”

“He…” Yuuri pauses, feels his face burn with the memories that come rushing in like the water he had to wade through in the last hour. He buries his face into the couch’s cushions and mumbles his response between them where he hopes they’ll be trapped forever, never to be found again.

“I can’t hear you, hun.”

Yuuri mumbles again, louder this time, but it’s still indecipherable because Phichit huffs in exasperation.

“You know I’ll just prod your mind for the answer if you’re this embarrassed to tell me. What, did he compliment your costume this time too?” Yuuri shakes his head. “Tell you your eyes were nice again?” Yuuri shrugs. “Propose?”

“No!” Yuuri snaps up.

“Then what?” Phichit urges.

Yuuri looks off to the side—a bad, _bad_ habit when it comes to Phichit—as he loosens his mind guard and lets his friend into his memories. He’d rather this than repeat _those words._

Phichit gasps when he finds what he’s looking for. Yuuri wishes it were possible for him to spontaneously combust. Screw his heat-resistant skin.

“He did _not_.”

“He _did!_ I guess! But it doesn’t mean anything!”

“He told you, and I’m quoting Freezy McGay here, ‘You are far too gorgeous, and I’d love to see the way your eyes reflect the light of a candle.’ Yuuri I don’t know what to tell you, other than the fact that he is smitten by you. He didn’t even kill you, and he had the chance to! What kind of villain just does that?”

He’ll burn a hole right through this couch if Phichit doesn’t stop talking right now. “I know! Ugh! I swear to god he’s going to get me when my guard is down, so I can’t let that happen.”

“Well. I guess you have a point there. He could just be the world’s most convincing actor.” Phichit is pouting as if that very clear and very logical realization is boring. Yuuri supposes that it is, but he didn’t ask to be placed in some cliche enemies-to-eventual-lovers story. Dating a villain is inconceivable and something he’ll never ever do.

“Yeah, yeah, you’ve made your point,” Phichit says, waving his hand dismissively.

“Get out of my head already, you know-it-all.”

“I am, you nerd.” Phichit sticks his tongue out at him like an impish child. “This is pretty exciting either way, huh?”

“What do you mean by that?” Yuuri asks as he absently begins to dry the water drops from his pants and shoes with the heated palm of his hand. His clothes were made to withstand heat and not to be soaked in all that water.

“Look at you! How long have you sat in our old apartment babbling about how cool it would be to have your own hero ID and costume? And now you get your own arch nemesis?” Phichit pauses to wipe metaphorical tears from his eyes before laying both hands against his chest. “You’re living the dream, Yuuri. I’ve never been so proud of you.”

Yuuri preens a little with the praise as he bites his lips to try and stop the smile from breaking out onto his face. “I still feel like this is a fantasy, sometimes.”

“It’s real life, baby.” Phichit throws his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders and Yuuri yelps, quickly putting out his fire so as not to burn him. “You grew up so fast! My son, whom I’ve raised since birth!”

“You didn’t raise me?”

“Shut up, yes I did.”

✦

**Author's Note:**

> a fun dive into the past! yuuri wasn't always the super confident hero that he seems to be in the current timeline, and it was cool to explore a little of that here!
> 
> so i've been thinking about how this whole universe is going, and the fact that a plot kind of formed itself despite the fact that i never meant for this to have one at all?? and i spend a good few hours after that realization pulling all of the oneshot ideas into one cohesive plot, so the oneshot format will be no more come next update. i'm still deciding on one longfic (with like 10+ chapters) or 4 multichaptered fics (with 3-4 chapters, separated by important events). buuuut we'll see.
> 
> thank you to the amazing [chroniccombustion](http://chroniccombustion.tumblr.com/) for beta reading for me, and doing an excellent job at that ♥ catch me on [tumblr](http://hinatella.tumblr.com/) and [twitter](https://twitter.com/hinatella). thanks for reading!!


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